Old Blog entries:
083002 - There is a Sharper Image store just down the street from my office - I needed a new umbrella a few days ago so I figured I'd stop in, dragging a few of my lunch cohorts (a little crew of us that go to lunch together...) with me. Their umbrellas were crap but they had an amazing massage chair that we all took turns in. Long turns. The chair is amazing, it massages your whole body (including an unbelievable calf massaging contraption) and leaves you feeling floaty. So amazing is the chair that we've all been back every day since for a massage, four days running now. The people that work in Sharper Image know what we're up to, despite our assertions that we're, "saving up to buy one and just need to make sure we're doing the right thing..."
I now can't imagine facing an afternoon of work without my lunchtime massage.
In other news, a commercial for Winterfresh gum that I shot (and kind of directed) with some friends last weekend will be shown on national TV starting next week. It is the "Freshmen" one, keep your eyes peeled for it.
082702 - I'm suddenly very afraid to shake hands with people at work. I mean, the opportunity to shake hands with people here doesn't arise very often but I'm concerned that if someone was to want to shake my hand I'd jump back in alarm and eye their hand suspiciously. What if their hands are the ones that were sloshing around in the urinal?
Someone (Ryan) suggested that I knock the cake back into the urinal (thus fulfilling the yearning that every urinal cake holds in its tiny, cherry-scented heart...) and then set up some kind of sting operation wherein I catch the urinal bandit yellow-handed.
I love the idea of leaping out and humiliating a co-worker for doing something repulsive - but the idea of crouching down in the bathroom for what could end up being a full day holds less appeal. I guess the mystery will remain just that.
082602 - Vulgar story of the day:
On Friday there was a urinal cake left on top of the urinal - presumably because there wasn't a screen in the urinal to stop it from getting wedged in the pipes as it wore down. This morning I went into the bathroom and found that someone had knocked it into the urinal anyway. I was alarmed but tried not to let it ruin my day. Well, it is lunchtime now and apparently it had bothered someone else - a quick trip to the bathroom revealed the fact that someone has reached into the urinal and retrieved the urinal cake. It now sits (slightly worn) back on top of the urinal.
We don't have maintenance workers around, there are no rubber gloves anywhere in the office that I know of... why would someone do this???
082402 - What was the point in that? (in posting about running away from home and then not updating for a few days...) I was hoping some people might think I had actually run away from home. That would have been funny.
I've been informed since my last post that when 'grown-ups' do it, it is called *taking a powder* - which sounds kind of cool. Don't think I'll be doing it anytime soon, but it sounds kind of cool.
082202 - There were few times when I was a little kid (around the age of 10) where the idea of running away from home seemed like a good one. I got as far as packing a bag once. The plan was to ride my bike off into the country (we lived on the line where suburb meets rural in Calgary) and set up a tent to live in. Common sense and fear stopped me from doing it every time.
My life feels like a bit of a mess recently and I'm having the same kind of feelings again. A weird pulling sensation in my gut. Common sense and fear are holding me in place again. Can grown-ups run away from home?
Who'd have thunk that being a grown-up is just as sucky as being a kid?
081902 - Spent a portion of the weekend working on a new personal project, click the link above to check it out.
081802 - I think all of you (male and female) should go down to your local Glamor Shots and have your picture taken. Then I think that you should all take those Glamor Shots and send them to me.
081502 - For the first time since junior high I've got an enemy - someone to hate, someone to topple like so much Jenga.
I know nothing about the guy except the kind of bike he rides and the kind of backpack he wears, the only two identifying marks that I need. I see him at least once a day on the lakeshore bike path. He thinks he can beat me.
As I may have mentioned in the past; I have made something of a habit of subtly challenging other riders to races during my commute (how: ride past really fast, glare as you pass, then slow to just a bit faster than their pace - see if they bite). This guy bites every time and he's pretty quick. I haven't had any off days recently but I think if I did, he could probably take me.
Until then I'll just admire his *pluck* and chuckle to myself as he falls off my back wheel.
-Also-
It is really nasty to be in the bathroom at work when someone else is having a loud poo.
081302 - I don't generally post referrer shit up in here - but yesterday someone came to my site via Google after searching for "I'm a dirty transsexual and here's my dirty story"
Needless to say, I'm not a transsexual. Anymore.
081202 - Hey, people in bands - when you play a show, some people might want to buy buttons. They're cheap to make and they give your fans something fun to take home and pin onto their bag.
What's that you say? But you already have t-shirts and posters and CDs for sale? Yeah, well, if I bought a $10 t-shirt at every show that I went to then I wouldn't be able to afford to go to as many shows. And I already have your CD. And I ran out of wall space ages ago.
Shoot me an email if you need someone to make your buttons for you... I've got the hook-up.
080802 - You know what pisses me off? People that spell hamster 'h-a-m-p-s-t-e-r' and people that pronounce height "heighth". And people that bring babies to any restaurant that isn't Chuck E. Cheese's or McDonald's.
080602 - So much is wasted. Sometimes I'll write someone an email that I think is really witty or touching or deep - and then I'll send that email and those amazing thoughts are lost forever. People might read them once and then they are discarded, forgotten forever.
How sad that ideas should die.
My life is a tumultuous mess right now. The holiday was nice (such, such fun) but I need another month or so. And some serious therapy. And kittens, the world needs more kittens.
080402 - Back from Seattle now. So very, very tired.
The pictures are up.
073002 - The bamboo sprig that is now in a vase (empty juice bottle) on my desk doesn't seem to be growing that well. I had heard all of these exciting rumors about bamboo growing up to 2" a day and had a wild vision of a lush, tropical desk - full of pandas wandering around my verdant bamboo thickets.
Sidenote - I don't think I've ever used the word verdant before.
I'm flying to Seattle tomorrow. Hooray. United airlines would charge me $75 (each way - such bastards) to take my bike so I'm not taking it. I'm going to have to do the race on a rental racer that I've never ridden before. I'm pissed.
072502 - Today I bought some little bamboo sprigs from a farmer's market in Daley plaza, had far too much sugar, and got way too excited about tomorrow's Critical Mass and next week's Dead Baby!
Hooray for today!
072402 - The bottom bracket on my bike was loose this morning and I don't have the tool I needed to fix it - that meant I had to take the train.
I hate the train. So full of horrible* people, writhing all around you, brushing up against you... yuck.
Not just that but I guess I've become addicted to the endorphins that I generate on my morning ride. I'm all drowsy and pissed off this morning whereas normally I'm chipper and full of vim.
*by horrible people, I don't mean that all people are horrible, I'm not like that... I just mean the special breed of asshole that seem to populate my train.
072102 - Two lovers entwined pass me by
And heaven knows I'm miserable now
I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now
-Moz
Just came back from a weekend down in Peoria and the drive back made me a little introspective. The highways are crammed with people (myself included) that think they are special or unique in some way (as was evidenced by 'car flair' and smug grins) when there's really nothing special or unique about any one of us.
I'm going to get really drunk sometime this week and come up with a better way.
Today marks the first day of my renewed vegetarianism.
071902 - Talk about bike-centricity...
Next Friday is Critical Mass. The Friday after that is the Dead Baby. I booked my plane ticket today. I'm so excited I could (and probably will) pee.
071802 - Emotional *turmoil* is beginning to take its toll on me. I'm starting to exhibit OCD-like behaviors and my temper is getting shorter. I'm going to see how long I can go before seeking professional help, an endurance test of sorts - I'll wait until those around me start to complain before caving in.
Should be a wild ride.
Speaking of wild rides, I'm back in bike shape again now. Very fast. Very fast indeed.
071602 - So, it looks like my contact form (below) was broken. Oops.
It is fixed now - so you can go back to sending me emails.
071502 - Weekends are five days too short.
071202 - Two things that feel good when you're riding a bike:
• Blowing past two guys that are wearing fancy racing gear, riding fancy, expensive bikes like they're standing still. Bonus points if they're out on a training run and you're just commuting to work.
• Battling the wind like it is your worst enemy for 1/2 an hour and then finally turning out of it and having it push you along like it is your best friend. Ahh wind, such is the nature of our relationship.
071102 -
I was riding my bike in this morning and a wave came off the lake and swallowed me whole. I got soaked but I still thought it was tremendously funny.
The decision has been made, I'm growing my hair back out. Within 6 months I'll look like this again:
In between now and then I'll just look like a twat with scruffy hair.
071002 - I think I've slowly been working my way towards understanding the meaning of (my) life. Yesterday as I was driving to the airport (to pick Keri up) the sun was setting over the trees and bathing my face in a soft, orange light. A great happiness washed over me. That was when it struck me that if you spend your life surrounding yourself with beauty (spiritual and physical) and happiness then you are leading a perfect life. If you're not, then you're not.
There's lots of other details to the idea that came to me at the same time but I won't bore you with the details.
Chicago is too hot.
070902 - I paused my commute briefly this morning to watch some Trixies doing Tai Chi on the lakefront. Though the scene felt contrived and wrong on some level - there was still a nice sense of tranquility watching people move slowly in front of the lake and the fresh, early-morning sun.
070802 - Finally got a confirmed date for the Dead Baby. I'll be in Seattle for the weekend of August 2nd. Expect great things. I'm so excited about the race that I am giggling and shaking a bit.
070402 - I forgot to wear a belt yesterday. I never realized how useful they are.
Today is the fourth of July and I have no idea what I'm going to do to celebrate my adopted country's independence from my homeland. I feel conflicted, like if I go out and get drunk today then I'm giving up a little part of my Englishness.
070202 - I've started writing a new short story - this one centered around a main character that likes to poison people in their sleep - it is going to be an ugly, ugly, hard to read story that most of you will never get to read. Anyway, I was doing research (online) last night about poisons. I was frightened by how easy it was to get all kinds of nasty information, I also found a number of pages devoted solely to teaching people how to kill themselves. How sad.
I've also started riding my bike to work.
Marc is feeling altogether more fulfilled.
062802 - Speaking of sinusoidal mood patterns - today is great. Maybe it is my new haircut (see webcam link to the left [I know... it is the first time I've updated the webcam in, like... oh my gawd... for-evar!]), maybe it is the prospect of a riding Critical Mass tonight, maybe it is the music I'm listening to (Senor Coconut), or maybe it is just something in the air. Whatever.
addendum: - ... something, something Taste of Chicago, human filth knee-deep in their own sweat, covered in scraps of half-eaten food...
062702 - The air conditioning wasn't working right on the 'L' this morning. By the time I got to work I was little more than a salty puddle with legs.
Sweet Home Chicago my ass, more like Sweaty Humid Home Chicago...
Did I mention my mosquito bites yet? Hehehe
*Marc struggles to think of happy things to write about so that his audience doesn't run away*
Having everyone on the train sweaty and nasty was kind of nice because instead of the usual crush and jostle everyone was disgusted enough by everyone else to respect personal space. A first in my experiences on the train.
062602 - It struck me that in the future - long after they've dragged me away to a padded cell and lopped off my frontal lobe - this site and its archives might serve as some kind of documentation of my descent into madness.
... That makes all of the people that read this site sort of passive participants in the whole thing too. You rotten bastards; are you just going to sit there when I so obviously need help?
I'm sorry, I'm bored and sleepy... just messing around.
062502 - I was on the train last night and the man next to me yawned. More specifically the man with the horrible, horrible breath sitting next to me yawned right in my face. I almost threw up and then spent some time toying with the idea of punching him.
Went and played golf on Sunday (I KNOW!!! Golf, what the fuck, am I a yuppie now?) and I've decided that there are very few things in life less pleasant than mosquito bites.
I mean, obviously, there are lots of things a lot more unpleasant than mosquito bites - it's just that when you're sitting in an (hot, sweaty) office sweating, and scratching at raw, bleeding, itchy, bumps on your achilles tendon it is hard to think of them.
062202 - Why haven't I updated all week? Mainly because my life has taken on a certain 'trainwreck' quality and I've been a bit down in the dumps about it all.
I'd post more about it all but you all know too much about me already ;)
061502 - Hehehe, wait for it... wait for it...
061402 - A couple of little secrets about Marc and trains:
• If he's standing anywhere near the edge of the platform when the train comes in, he rocks back on his heels. Just in case someone runs up from behind and tries to push him to his death.
• Walking under the "L" tracks as a train is screaming/rumbling/exploding past on them nearly makes him shit his pants. At the very least the noise and violence of it all makes him clench his jaw and his fists. Teeth-grinding and white-knuckled he prays (not to god - he doesn't believe in god...[at least not the conventional Gods of organized religion...]) that the tracks won't collapse onto his head.
Isn't Marc silly? I think he's a little 'imbalanced' - especially so with this whole 3rd person thing he's doing right now. Maybe he should see someone.
061302 - How to solicit a reaction from long-silent readers of your web page:
• Announce that you're planning on marrying the woman that you love.
I've got all kinds of stories about diamond buying (it is a lot like buying expensive drugs,) proposals (see photograph section...) and the drunken, bloated happiness that only true love can bring. I'm not that ambitious though - so I'm keeping them to myself.
060802 - She said yes!
060702 - Daniel G. Harmann, our rock star pal from Seattle is in town for another weekend of sex, drugs, and maybe a museum or a picnic or something. Expect a whole new set of hee-larious pictures to be up by Monday.
As an aside, you know that horrible, empty feeling you get when you're sure you've forgotten something really important. Yeah, that's how I feel right now. It is pissing me off.
060302 - Three thoughts/realizations came into my head pretty much simutaneously on my walk home:
• commuter trains in warm weather smell like cologne in the morning and sweat and unpleasantness in the evening.
• opera music sounds really good when it is drifting gently out of an open window on a warm, damp day.
• I am in the midst of a massive crisis of identity - the causes of which are multitude; some known, some hidden. The sooner I solve it the happier I (and everyone that has to deal with me on even a semi-regular basis) will be.
Just thought I'd share.
060102 - New quest: to meet the people the write and illustrate the Archie comics.
Questions to ask them:
• Do you actually know anyone named Archie, Reginald, Jughead, Moose, Betty, Veronica, Midge, or Ethel?
• Why is Midge dating Moose, she seems pretty together and he is quite obviously mentally challenged. Is it a sympathy thing?
• What year are the comics set in? One minute Archie is cruising around in his 1930's 'jalopy' the next he's talking about the Internet and the problems with President Bush...
• Why does Archie bother with Veronica OR Betty? One is a stuck up bitch that constantly toys with his emotions and the other is a desperate, shameless dork. He'd be better off with Midge.
• Why is Archie so broke all of the time?
• Why does Reggie always have money? Are his parents rich? Why do we never see his house? Are his parents as rich as the Lodges?
• How does Jughead eat so much? Why isn't he interested in girls? Is he gay? Does he love Archie?
* Note: Yes, I caved and bought an Archie comic when I was grocery shopping the other day.
* Note II: It is 3:30am and I'm drunk.
052802 - I've got allergies pretty bad so I sat at work all day with a runny nose and streaming eyes - the worst was on the train on the way home - reading my book and looking, for all intents and purposes, like I was crying my eyes out. How comical a sight I must have been, how the other commuters must have laughed after I stepped off at my stop, wiping my eyes on my sleeve, sniffling big wet sniffles.
There are all of these weird guys downtown (I've run into three so far in less than a month working down there) that get right up in your face so that your bodies together shield their hands as they open them and show you (presumably stolen?) jewelery. I'm hoping one of them, one day soon, will show me something cool, perhaps a pouncing tiger cast in gold and diamonds hanging from a fat gold chain. That would be rad.
052702 - After weeks and weeks of making lame 'Spiderman hands' jokes I finally caved in today and went to see it. Special effects fueled fun for the whole family - I give it two (sticky) thumbs up - though it won't be going on my top five list...
052602 - Weddings are boring - especially when you don't know most of the people there. Asparagus is tremendously exciting - how many other foods make your pee smell funny? I mean, I don't like smell but I love the novelty of eating a food that can do something like that.
052402 - I've decided to change my eating schedule to something more 'English'. From now on lunch will be the main meal of my day and dinner (or tea) will be nothing more than a snack. I think it makes more sense that way. If you eat dinner late (as I am prone to do) then you go to sleep and all the food energy just turns to fat rather than being spent on good things like dancing and running and thinking about ways to solve the mess in the Middle East.
I keep 'spacing out' when I'm filling my water bottle from the water cooler at work. I've over-filled my bottle and spilled water on the floor three times this week alone. Just one of the many clever ways my body reminds me that I need to start getting more sleep.
"... the drones worked hard before they died..."
052302 - Word of the day: concatenate.
Songs that are stuck in my head today:
Love Your Money - Daisy Chainsaw
Stormy Weather - Pixies
I'm having something of an internal crisis, I can't decide whether I want to get old yet. I got my hair cut yesterday and as I was walking down the street with my freshly shorn fauxhawk I felt conspicuous - not too unlike the way I felt when I went to a rave with some friends last year.
052202 - Favorite phrases of today:
· more fun than a burlap sack full of puppies.
· sexually attracted to fire (c/o the Simpsons)
051702 - The second big cat idea (again, not ideas involving big cats, big ideas for little cats...) is a lot less extravagant.
I've noticed that indoor cats gets pretty mopey after a while and am sure that it is mostly due to their inability to connect with the smells and pleasures of roaming outside. So, if you've got a yard, why not build a cat run? Just knock together a frame (20-30'X3'X2') put chicken wire in the sides, clear perspex on top, then hook it up to a cat door and seal the other end. Voila, your cat can now run around outside, eat grass, get fleas, perhaps encounter neighborhood cats and sniff their bums through the fence, bury its poop in real dirt - basically do all of the things that an outdoor cat takes for granted without the unpleasant risks of being eaten by a coyote, kicked by a teenager, or flattened by a car. Hooray for cat runs!
Pygmy Marmosets are cool.
051602 - I guess yesterday's entry was a *little* Howard Hughesian, eh? My bad.
I've got some big cat ideas I need to share. That is, they aren't ideas that involve big cats (pumas, lions, cheetahs, and their ilk) they are simply big ideas for little cats (domestic cats...) The first is a giant cat ranch.
When I thought I was going to be a stock option millionaire one of the ways I was going to spend my gobs and gobs of money was as follows:
Buy up thousands of acres (maybe just hundreds) of land in somewhere remote but pleasant, Montana perhaps - then set it up as a collecting place for unwanted cats. So many thousands of cats are killed in animal shelters across the country (Marmite was 2 days away from execution when we found him) and it seems like such a shame. You can't really release them into the wild but what if there was an in-between place. A place that had wide open spaces, plenty of prey, strategically placed watering/feeding stations, and one or two centers where the cats could come when they wanted to hang out with other cats or get some affection from people.
The area would have to be very well fenced but beyond that it really wouldn't take much. All cats would be neutered/spayed before being admitted and everything would be cool.
I don't know - I did some volunteer work at an animal shelter a few years back (OK, it was community service but still...) and they are just such heart-breaking places.
I'll tell you the second idea tomorrow.
051502 - I think the daily exposure to the seething, stinking, rotten stream of human traffic I face on the sidewalks is taking its toll on my mental faculties. Case in point - I was *almost* home today when I noticed a fat man jogging (for exercise) towards me. He was drenched in sweat and during the one or two seconds it took him to reach me I had a horrifying daydream/nightmare of a droplet of his sweat breaking free and landing on my lip as he went past.
The vision was so real and so disturbing that when he actually did reach me I feigned interest in a bush and turned my head away from him.
051402 - Why not? because I'm lazy, that's why not.
However, I came across a couple of websites that warranted linkage so without further ado:
Today's links:
Fantastic Lemmings-esque game.
Better daily updated site than most. Not quite a blog but hyper-entertaining.
051002 - I saw the dead goldfinch on my way to the train again today (doesn't anyone clean these things up?) but it was sunny this morning and the effect just wasn't the same.
My new headphones.
050902 - Walking to the train in the overcast greyness this morning something bright yellow caught my eye - it was a small, dead goldfinch seemingly asleep at the pavement's edge. The bright happiness of the little bird in death stood in stark contrast to the dull flatness of the life that surrounded me.
Then I got to work, wrote some code, ate a Frosty® (from Wendy's), and tried not to think about it.
050802 (later) - Yeah, seems like it is more about the shoes. I was a bit sleepy but my code was fine. I did, however, find that I was a lot less apt to shy away from confrontation - bumping people out of the way when they tried to get on the train ahead of me, not getting out of the way when people were in my path on the sidewalk. I guess lack of sleep makes me mean and uncomfortable shoes make me stupid.
050802 - Due to circumstances involving a fresh pineapple, a candy bar, and two frisky cats (nothing dirty, I ate the pineapple and the candy bar leaving me with a late-night sugar high - then the cats used my face as a springboard for various astounding feline acrobatic feats through the night) I am at a D-, on the scale where A = bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and F = dreary-eyed and slap-happy.
I'm not going all Bridget Jones on you here (not that I've ever read the book or seen the movie)(OK fine, I've skimmed the book AND seen the movie - that doesn't make me less of a man) I'm merely mentioning this in the interests of furthering study in the field of shoe comfort and hours sleep as they correlate to job satisfaction and performance. Today to work I'm going to wear the most comfortable (but apparently ugly) shoes ever created - my Puma Mostro - then when I get home tonight I'll pop back on and tell everyone how I'm feeling and how my day went.
There, now you've go something to look forward to.
050702 - I've discovered that my success and happiness at work depend on two factors: comfortable shoes and a good night's sleep. When I sleep poorly or wear uncomfortable shoes I have a miserable day, my code is sloppy, I forget things... However, when I wear comfortable shoes and/or get a good night's sleep everything is sunny and great. Today was a comfy shoe day.
I think my next major investment will be a decent bed.
Saw on the train today - one more reason not to touch things in public and then lick your fingers - an old homeless guy took off his shoes and socks and proceeded to pick at his grimy, scabby, nasty, nasty feet.
050202 - I just can't seem to get used to this "getting up early in the morning" thing. It hurts.
Work is fun - iron butterflys, bear calls, bull puts, calendar spreads, condors, strangles, and straddles are buzzing around my head.
I miss my online friends though. I miss writing long emails to chums and hanging out for too long on Yay! Hooray!
050102 - First day of work. Ask me how I feel.
Tired. Thanks for asking.
043002 (later) - I felt guilty after reading my last post and decided to get off my ass and go for a bike ride. I'm so glad I did. Now I'm doing laundry. Pretty interesting eh?
Thought this was a bit gruesome for Popeye.
043002 - How did I spend my last day of freedom? A day for which I had penciled in such activities as, "go for one last epic bike ride" and, "get a good chunk of the screenplay written" was ultimately frittered away farting around online. Now I'm sad. And a bit nervous about work tomorrow - it feels like it has been forever since I was last in a work situation. Oh wait, it was.
I forgot to mention it yesterday but Keri and I went to see Life or Something Like it on Friday night. I do feature pretty heavily in the last scene and anyone that has ever met me will be able to recognize me quite easily. But: the movie is crap.
042902 - After seven and a half long months I've finally been offered (and accepted) a job! This Wednesday, May 1st, I start my new reign of terror at an online options brokerage down in the loop (details kept to a minimum because of what happened to Dooce...) The whole thing kicks ass and I'm really excited about the road that lays ahead.
Sure, I'll miss the endless hours of web surfing, the leisurely bike rides up and down the lakefront, the mid-afternoon drinking, the long, drunken hours spent stroking a cat, gazing out of a window, crying... I'll miss getting up when I'm done sleeping, I'll miss poking fun at the rest of the world as they trudge off to work in the early morning dusk, I'll miss not showering until ten minutes before Keri is due home.
I think I'm going to miss a lot of you too. You see, a lot of you visit this site because I post funny and entertaining links on a relatively regular basis - I think very few people realize just what a huge amount of time goes into finding those links. Those links are normally the condensation of hours and hours of surfing, digging around the web until I find that one page that makes me say, "People will think this is funny and/or entertaining." sometimes out loud. As I'm going to be gainfully employed from Wednesday onward I won't have those hours to piss away trawling the web for delicious fun - I'll be too busy stoking the fires of the financial markets of the world.
I know this is going to piss some of you off, make some of you sad, to those of you I have this to say: stop being so fucking selfish! Shit, what? You think I exist for your fucking entertainment? What am I? A fucking clown? No, I'm a man, a man with a fucking shiny new job that is going to demand the lion's share of my time from now on. Go find your own links you big fucking baby. You want me to come over and wipe your ass for you too?
(Yeah, that's right, I swear, I tried to keep it to a minimum before lest I scare away any potential employers...)
Anyway, for the rest of you, those of you that actually care about me, those of you that aren't link-sucking hangers-on... I'll still be around, I'll still post random snippets of information about my life in here. Some of it will be funny, some of it will be sad, some of it will make you question the very essence of your being (not really)... It might come a little less frequently, especially over the next couple of weeks as I settle into my job, but rest assured that it will still come. You can always email me too.
Wish me luck, I'm off to buy some fancy new clothes now.
Love,
M.
Today's links:
Here are most of the sites I visit(ed) on a daily basis - most, if not all of the links you've seen on this page came from one of the sites below. Enjoy:
 Metafilter.com - a community of linkwhores and newsfiends that is slowly spiraling into anarchy.
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 Fark.com - lots of links to news and sometimes amusing sites. Lots of shit to filter out.
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 The Morning News - sensitive written pieces and topical news links from a group of cooler-than-thou elite in NY.
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B3ta - pronounced beta - funny people in England putting together lots of quality amusing pictures and posting generally very high quality funny links.
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 BoingBoing - killer stuff, mostly tech related.
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Everything Isn't Under Control - another Chicago guy with a blog. Sometimes good links, sometimes not.
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Everlasting Blort - really good for the stranger side of things. Lots of links to just plain bizarre websites.
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 Mister Pants - another one that is good for links to the unusual. Plus lots of entertaining quips and stories about life.
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Surfstation - mainly design related stuff but sometimes funny things pop up.
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 Kaliber 10000 - K10K, the best design site going. Revamped with a pretty new face and all kinds of yummy stuff.
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 FilePile - if you're not already a member then you are SOL but this site is smashtastic. Tons of pictures and websites and MP3s...
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Newstoday - design community. Not a big fan but sometimes they'll have halfway decent links.
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 Memepool - used to be that you'd find good links here, it seems a bit crap of late though.
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 Yay!Hooray! - hands down the best site on the whole internet! Friendly community loosely themed about design. Sometimes good links - always good people. My login is crMN1.
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Today's links:
Happy kittens, happy music, a beach, and a chinchilla.
People are strange.
I hate Jakob Nielsen.
Want a pub in your garden? I do.
Mr. Friendly pretty well rules.
042402 (bonus link) - Best game ever doesn't even come close to describing this!
042402 - Want an entourage but aren't famous or monied enough to warrant one? Try this - get two cats, set them up on a regular feeding schedule, then one day feed them 1/2 an hour late. They'll follow you everywhere and make you feel extra-loved!
Today's favorite word: shtum - mainly because that one scene from Sexy Beast is stuck in my head. Ben Kingsley totally should have won the Oscar for that one.
Today's links:
There are some great games and things there but I'm mainly linking because I like the name: Nipplecat!
I want.
Is your pet gay?
042302 - Dooce is gone. She will be missed.
Thankfully there are other hyper-cool people like my pal Corianton out there doing the same kind of thing. (Only with a prettier site and free fonts to boot!)
Today's links:
Eminem paid $150K to have this cover pulped. Can't think why...
One way to get a cheap loft in NY.
Riot is kind of fun.
Because sometimes being mean is OK.
Cultural relevance be damned - this is nasty.
Bungy wedding!
042202 - Someone is fucking with me.
I'm pretty well set against hunting. Someone has gone ahead and signed me up for a membership with the North American Hunting Club and a subscription to Field & Stream magazine. Very few people know my address and I think I know who did this. Be warned - I'm going to get you.
Today's links:
K10K is back. And it still feels good.
Happy Earth Day. How big is your ecological footprint?
How to make OSX style buttons.
Strange and disturbing performance art.
041902 (later) - The hair is dead! Long live the hair!
041902 - In my infinite wisdom I have decided that my current haircut doesn't suit the weather of a Chicago Summer. At 3:45PM CST I will wander down to Milio's and have it all cut off. Fauxhawk.
I'll post a pic in the webcam thing when I'm done. Prepare to be wowed! (to borrow an expression from a dear, dear friend...)
Today's links:
I don't know what the story is with this picture but you know it is a sad one.
Impressive Lego church.
iToilet. A cheap and only marginally funny stab at Apple.
One more reason to hate Cilla Black.
The intro to one of my favorite shows when I was a wee lad. No wonder I'm so messed up.
You could mistake this for a hollow cartoon about a robot and a bird. It is really a deep statement about love.
Pictures of drunk people.
041802 - Dragged the A/C unit up from basement storage yesterday. It has made a huge difference in the quality of my life.
Today's links:
Finally, an easy way to humiliate your friends. So long Photoshop.
Spit spreads germs.
Wish this worked on cats
Rear end washer.
041602 - Today it is really hot and humid outside. Probably not the best weather to be going on a long bike ride, pushing yourself as hard as you can.
I did it anyway and it left me purple and very sweaty. When I got home I had to lay on the floor for a while, unable to move. Marmite came up and licked sweat off my face - it was really cute.
Today's links:
Apparently this isn't new but I had never seen it before. Funny, funny stuff. I played it about ten times, laughing hysterically the whole time.
Download a desktop polyp.
041502 - Over the weekend I joined a crew and particpated in 5X8 - a competition/event wherein you have 22 hours to make a 3 minute film - it was the best time I've had in ages. Up late into the night writing scripts and storylines, waking early in the morning to film. Our film didn't win but I think it kicked ass. I had never done any video stuff before but it was really cool and now I want to do more.
The weather is stunning today.
I met up with an old pal from college; we went and sat outside and drank beer.
Today's links:
If you live in Chicago and own a bike - do this.
Not sure if anyone else thinks Bathing Ape is cool. Anyhow, they've teamed up with Pepsi in Japan to design some can bottles.
Ooh, I guess the links are a bit light today. I did mention that is is really nice outside, right?
041202 - Today I thought up two potential slogans for an anti-drunk driving group to use: "Crash at your friend's place; not into a tree." and "Cabs are so much cheaper than funerals."
My Brother is driving now and I worry about him nearly constantly. Mainly because I remember what I was like at his age. (Not that I drank and drove, I was just reckless and silly...)
Today's links:
The story is that in Japan the biker gangs, bosozoku, put their cats' faces on their driver's licenses to fool the police.
Play God.
Horrifying.
A touching tribute to the Queen Mum.
Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age.
HaX0r translator.
041102 - I went for another bike ride today. Took Keri's digital camera with me this time and took a bunch of useless, boring pictures. If you want to see them they're up in the photo section.
I got bonk really bad about 2 miles from home and thought I was going to die. That'll learn me to leave home without Gu.
Today's links:
Cool shades.
Before you get all offended and email me, I know Tourette's is a serious condition and that this simulator doesn't so much "simulate" as it does poke fun. I'm sorry.
041002 - My bike ride yesterday was a pleasant end to my three week stint of inactivity. I rode North along the lake, stopped on a pier, talked to some fishermen, watched a diving bird diving for food for a while, then just watched the waves rolling in to the beach.
Today's ride was a life-affirming burst of sunshine and sweat.
If you look at the webcam you'll notice that I'm growing a bit of a moustache. I started growing it as a *joke*/to piss Keri off a bit. Now it is coming in I'm loathe to shave it off - I think I might actually like it. Maybe I don't like it, maybe I'm just revelling in the sarcasm of the whole thing - I can't tell anymore!
Today's links:
New Murakami short fiction.
Russian prison tats.
Great Knight Rider tribute page.
Two pictures
040902 - The sun has finally come out - time to go for a bike ride!
Today's links:
Two pictures.
Another reason to call my kid Hank.
Monorail in his backyard.
Sounds that annoy cats.
040502 - Today begins my rock star pal's West Coast tour. If you're lucky enough to live anywhere near any of his shows - go see him! He'll rock your socks off.
I got a haircut today.
Today's links:
Orking!
I only wish I had someone to play it with.
I want.
040402 - Apparently an overwhelming majority of you have suffered some kind of major head trauma and don't like my new shoes. Well, like I said yesterday - I don't care. I'm still going to wear them. I'm still going to look down at my feet whilst wearing them and sigh a happy, little sigh.
Today's links: (which, quite frankly, aren't that good but that serves you right for not liking my new shoes...)
What would happen if you got really messed up on smack and then drew comics? Pokey the Penguin!
How to be a web designer.
Buy a shy kid for your living room.
A guide to sleeping in airports.
Some recipes.
040302 - I just bought some new shoes. Keri (and just about everyone else I've shown them to) tells me they're ugly. Here's some pictures of them. Are they ugly?
| Your fantastic new shoes create a stirring in my loins that I normally reserve for naked pictures. | |
Today's links:
I don't know if anyone else has been reading the Bee - Shutterbug Follies comics but today I stumbled across the *hidden* rest of the strip - all the way to the end. I felt kind of guilty reading them all, like a kid that found his parents' Christmas present hiding spot. I drooled my way though them all but now feel a bit guilty. Here's the link to the backdoor in case you want to cheat too.
The trouble with beer.
You can thank me for finding this by buying me a bunch of stuff from it.
040102 - I was going to come up with some slick prank to pull on everyone that reads this page... you know, with it being April Fool's Day and all that. Then I decided not to.
I went for a bike ride today and didn't get half a block before it started snowing. SNOWING!!! In April!
It all seems so very wrong.
Today's links:
White bear: brown tail.
High tech filters down to a cat flap. Brilliant.
Like guide dogs, only monkeys... (Worth is just for this pic.)
Rob builds incredible things.
I'm going to hell:
·Bungee ascending.
·With you always...
033102 - Happy Easter. I ate so much chocolate yesterday that I was almost sick; then spent the rest of the day with a splitting sugar headache... Think I might abstain today.
Today's links:
Long but really interesting and worth reading all the way through.
Easter eggs. Because it is Easter.
Peep surgery. Also because it is Easter.
Money saving tips. Because we were in a recession, weren't we?
033002 - Sorry it has been a few days, I was busy with interviews (!!)...
Some funny things my cats do:
Frank - proclaims his hunger in the mornings by standing on the dresser drawers and nudging things over the edge with his paw. All the while staring at you and willing you to get up and feed him.
Marmite - curls up between my legs in my underpants when I'm sitting on the toilet.
Today's links:
Some snatches of my life as told by Penny Arcade.
Cats are cool.
Didn't Disney make a movie about this already?
Horrifying abominations of genetic engineering.
Shit.
032602 - When I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll be 27. A time for introspection I suppose.
Today's links:
Flash with a message.
:(
032502 - The trailer for the movie that Keri and I were in is up on the movie's website. I didn't see either of us in the trailer. I hope we didn't end up on the cutting room floor...
Code samples have been added to my micro-portfolio below.
I turn 27 in 2 days.
Today's (extra-special good) links:
The bunny LOVES your mouse!!!
Best Lego link ever!
Best tattoo ever!
Almost worth buying a dog and a house with a yard for. Almost.
Arts & crafts project for aspiring ninjas.
Another rabbit. This one sneaky.
WWJE?
032202 - Did you ever play Sonic the Hedgehog 2? You remember that bit where he was underwater and had to breath from the bubble geyser things? You remember that noise it made when he did, like a "woop-wip" kind of noise? Yeah, I've been thinking about that noise a lot recently.
Today's links:
Find the hidden bird.
Jesus is with you always.
032002 - Surprisingly enough my chest infection cleared itself up mere hours before I was supposed to go to the doctor. My credit cards are safe again.
Today's links:
My new favorite color tool.
Makes my eyes water.
I don't care how happy he is; I'm still terrified of him.
Poop test.
Great punk comic.
Very cool. Projected keyboard.
I can relate a bit too well.
Spears and Saget have a chat.
031802 - I've had a nasty chest infection of some sort for the past couple of weeks. It is crawling up my throat now so I decided to make an appointment with a doctor: without health insurance! My fear of drowning in my sleep, lungs full of mucus, is only slightly greater than the terror that accompanies thoughts of a $1000 bill tomorrow.
Being unemployed sucks.
Plus this all means I won't get to go swimming all week. Expect me to be quite cranky by Wednesday.
Today's links:
Cute and nasty strolling hand in hand. Here's where they all came from.
Witty Japanese mouseovers.
Peanut butter jelly time!
How to pick locks.
Find your demographic.
I plan to...
031602 - My birthday (#27) is only a week and a half away. Still not too late for you to buy me things!
Today's links:
Grillo the Clown is really scary.
Chewing gum makes you smarter.
Live woman thought dead, taken to morgue, dies.
031402 - A friend of mine in Seattle, Jeremy, just found out that he's got a brain tumor. I can't begin to imagine how scary and shitty that must feel. I hope everything works out OK for him.
On a lighter note, I took the garbage down just before I went swimming. When I got to the dumpster it sounded like something was moving around inside. Something was - a rat. It was trapped in there because the dumpster was empty and it couldn't quite jump all the way to the top. I tossed my garbage bag in there and propped the lid open so it would be able to climb up the bag then jump to freedom; instead the rat chose to climb into the garbage bag, presumably to look for a snack.
The whole time I was swimming the song Rat in Mi Kitchen by UB40 was stuck in my head.
Some things I learned about rats today:
· They can jump really high.
· To them a tasty snack is more important than freedom.
· They're cute, kind of like small, dirty cats.
· Rat in Mi Kitchen is a fucking annoying song.
Today's links:
Sheep.
Art? Umm, yeah, I don't think so.
Jesus swimming.
I still eat meat but sites like this make me wish I didn't.
031302 - Interviewing homeless people is interesting. Trying to decipher the interview recordings to transcribe them is not.
Today's links:
Every picture tells a story.
Interesting.
Exactly what it says it is.
Text-based Pong. The geekiest Pong of all.
031202 - Right, I'm off to interview some homeless people now.
Today's links:
Cool. (Like in Amelie - great movie)
Cooler. Some great pics of NY.
Coolest. Click the simulator button.
Funny. Britney gets pee thrown at her.
Funnier. My Brother knows what is funny about this...
Funniest. Mr. & Mrs. Carrot.
Awful.
More awful.
Most awful.
030802 - More added value for my site! Check out the scroller (on the front page) now baby. Awww yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Grab the nubbin, slide it up and down, what a delight. DHTML rules.
If it doesn't work for you, send me an email with the form below. (on the front page)
Today's link:
Prince Charles gets a statue. Hilarious.
030702 - Today started out as one of those days where nothing goes right - stubbing toes, dropping things, tripping over words... Then I drove out to the suburbs for an interview and everything was great.
Today's links:
A gross animal link.
And a sad animal link.
030502 - A friend sent me this quote yesterday:
"Cat's lives are too short, perhaps their only fault"
-Unknown
Thank you Amy.
On an unrelated note: a splash of blood on the ground next to an ATM very rarely means good things.
Today's links:
80's revival: 1, 2, 3.
Animals on trains: 1, 2.
030402 - Today is a day of bipolar emotions.
One year ago today sweet, little Kaia died in my arms. On the other hand, I am thrilled to bits about this.
The Kaia thing is winning right now. Today's links:
!!!
Chipmunk Punk.
Reserved for cool blind people.
About time...
Panda Dog. Dyed Chow.
2001. In 20 words or less.
Interesting smuggling photographs.
Joe Queenan is sorry.
030102 - I rode the bus to the pool again today. About halfway there a man got on wearing an Amtrak Conductor's uniform, complete with a mesh hat displaying a shiny metal badge that read, "Amtrak - Conductor". He sat in front of me and I noticed that he was carrying a train schedule on top of his head, under the hat.
Through the rest of the bus ride my mind was filled with images of the man taking off his hat to answer people's train timetable questions.
Today's links:
Stylish, funny, long, and awesome!
Funny stuff: fake someone's death. This is very entertaining and a little bit illegal. It will most likely be taken down soon. Go now. Here's mine.
Just plain cool.
022802 - Chicago has now become the snow-dusted, wind-blasted frigid wasteland that I feared it would be eventually. So much for riding my bike to the pool for the next few weeks. I took the bus today which was a laff riot!
One year ago today Keri and I were riding out a 6.8 magnitude earthquake in Seattle. In retrospect it was a pretty cool experience.
Today's links:
Fatmouse!
Dan Harmann's interview in Tablet.
Mac People: Use your IPod to steal software!
Google keeps getting better: phonebook.
Jackass segments that were too hot for MTV.
Ali G translator.
Testosterone levels linked to crankiness. And you all laughed at me when I said I got pissy if I didn't get enough exercise...
022702 - I feel my contributions to this site are suffering because I haven't been swimming yet this week. Lazy body == tired mind. Tomorrow I'll go swimming.
Here's a sketch I did of Kaia and a picture of my face.
Today's (excellent) link:
Dooce got fired for saying rude things on her personal website.
022602 - Here's a poem I wrote a while ago:
"Religion,"
She said,
"Is for the weak."
Stumbling over her words
slightly.
He nodded his head
in agreement
And stroked her hair
as he removed
her bra.
I guess I'm not a poet :)
Today's links:
He-Man is coming back.
Puppy bowling.
Christian Juggling routines.
The youth of today are just so violent.
022202 - I was lying yesterday when I said I was going to come up with something clever for today. I've got nothing. My bad.
I did add my micro-portfolio to this page though, down yonder where my resume lives. Swanky.
Today's links:
So good and so true!
Duck and cover.
Rules of thumb.
Both brilliant and true.
022102 - Tomorrow I'll say something both profound and hilarious to make up for today's marked lack of profundity and hilarity.
Today's links:
Someone searched for "what to eat to get a bigger ass" on Yahoo and my site came up! How cool is that?
A dog that can eat pudding from over a foot away!
Cat paintings by a schizophrenic artist. Pretty.
A conversation between two IM Bots.
022002 - Funny how much of a difference a little bit of exercise makes. I hadn't been swimming since Friday and was getting all bummed out. Today I went swimming and am back to being my usual chipper self.
I've decided that I'm going to name any and all of my male children Hank. Roll it off your tongue a few times... sounds nice, doesn't it?
Photo section has been updated, click on the little camera to the left.
Today's links:
Cat cartoon.
Bear comic. Thanks B3ta for today's links.
021702 - Our rock star friend Daniel G. Harmann flew from Seattle to visit us for the weekend. It was the funnest weekend ever and it helped to open my eyes to all of the smashing things about Chicago. Thank you Dan.
(Pictures will be up on Monday along with a redesigned photo section!)
Today's links:
Russian roulette - pretty fun.
How to give a cat an enema.
Ewww.
Ewwww.
021302 - Damn, the job contest is doing remarkably well so far. Tons of hits and three solid, serious leads. Sweet.
Today's links:
Like Double Dragon only with Andrew WK.
Make your own cow.
Eat bunny.
I'll be in the bathroom being sick if anyone needs me.
Rubik's Cube solving legobot!
How to tell which cat stole your drugs.
Hold on please...
021202 - My awesome idea lives. Go check it out and let me know what you think. Remember, friends and family are eligible to win!
Links tomorrow...
021102 - I just had an awesome idea. I can't say anything more than that right now but it should be up here within a couple of days. It will blow your mind!
Today's links:
I cried a little bit when I read this.
Custom Google!
Dirty bear calendar. Dirty.
Etiquette guide for those of us living in large cities.
Win toilet paper.
020802 - Today is crap. I'm tired and I've got a big bruise on my ass from falling off my bike in front of a car. Thankfully I was able to drag my ass out of the road before it got run over. Stupid ice.
Today's links:
Lots of cats and toilets. Good stuff.
Make a virtual model of yourself. Also good stuff.
Water salad.
Why bigots and white supremacists don't date much. Ha ha ha.
020702 - Spanish is a lot easier to learn than I had imagined it would be. Expect me to be fluent by the end of the month.
Today's links:
Way cooler than a piercing. I want one.
Too many good pictures. (keep clicking "random")
Cute cartoon.
Pooh and Eeyore.
Tiger 18
Blue marble.
020602 - Today I felt just about well enough to go swimming. Instead I opted to laze around eating Fruit By The Foot® and applying for jobs.
Today's links:
Cat pictures -
· I'll have a pint of tabby please.
· Just cute.
· Just fat.
· Not a cat at all - my friend Drew as a squirrel in a compromising situation.
Cool slides picked up at garage sales. I should go to garage sales more often.
Your name in crackers.
Portrait tattoos for you to laugh at.
Great site.
020502 - I got more RAM today. Expect great things.
In other news: I'm addicted to Fruit By The Foot®
Today's links:
Post-It Note Theater.
Disposable underpants.
A place to send photos of yourself wearing said underpants.
Homing cats. Nothing to do with underpants whatsoever.
020402 - Look like shit? Yup. Feel like shit? Yup.
Today's links:
Proof that two wrongs do indeed make a right.
Like porn, but for nerds.
Let me know when these are available. I'll take one.
It probably isn't a good idea to get really drunk and pass out around me anymore.
Woman breastfeeding a monkey.
Just how amazing is it?
Bottom slappery.
020302 - Lots of drugs + instruments + some mentally ill people
= Pure fucking entertainment.
= The best show I've been to since the last good show I went to. Probably And You Will Know Us...
= The Moldy Peaches!
I'm quite ill and still had a great time.
020102 - I think I might be coming down with something.
Keri's Homemade Peanut Butter Cups
You will need:
-Peanut butter, preferably crunchy, preferably Jif
-Magic Shell dessert topping
-Ice cube tray
How to make them:
Take a spoon, put a glob of peanut butter in an empty ice cube tray hole, squirt Magic Shell crap on top of it. Refrigerate (or freeze, whatever...). Enjoy.
Today's link:
You think you're so smart? Yeah, well, you're not.
013102 - I saw a girl get nailed by a car while I was walking back from swimming. She wasn't hurt so it's OK for me to think it was cool, right?
Don't know what happened last night while I was asleep but when I woke up this morning there was a shitload of snow on the ground.
Last night I finished writing my short story about a homeless guy. Today I came on step closer to perfecting the crawl. Today's links:
Nekonoko calendar. Print. Enjoy.
Mindblowing demonstration of scale.
Stare Down Sally.
012902 - Last night when I went up to the front desk of my pool to sign up for swim lessons the woman behind the counter said, "Oh, good for you..." in a very patronizing way. I'm not a freestyle expert yet but I am one step closer... I'll be in the pool all week practicing if anyone needs me.
Today's links:
Our chum Dan has hit the big time! Go buy his EP!
get your enr on.
Bubblegum comics, meet existential philosophy. Existential philosophy, meet bubblegum comics.
Almost worth moving to Japan just to get at their cell phones... Not that I ever use the one I've got now.
012802 - I used to be a lifeguard. I passed all of the Red Cross lifeguard tests using breaststroke or a modified crawl that involved me holding my breath for a long time. I feel ashamed and a little dirty when I tell people I never learned how to do the crawl. Tonight all of that will change. Tonight I'm going to 'adult swim lessons' (think: less dirty, more grown-ups that are bad at swimming) at my pool. Tonight I learn to crawl and by tomorrow morning my shame will be nothing more than a memory.
Today's links:
How to appear more intelligent.
Tattooed action figures.
What strikes me as a great idea. But could be nasty given a misfire.
Great new White Stripes video. Realized entirely in animated Lego.
Key West chicken battle.
So much Lego deliciousness today. Scenes of death captured in Lego.
Try this and let me know how it goes. The Uberman sleep schedule.
Nice international photo site.
012502 - Another gorgeous day in Chicago.
Hey, click that "Hire Me" burst in the banner up there...
Awww yeah, DHTML delicious!
Today's links:
A mini e-book of hilarious, disturbing, sad, and uplifting confessions.
Can't decide what I think about this. It kind of gives me the willies. But then it is making something of a point. Britney, are you listening?
012402 - Today I took my BMX apart, wrapped it in paper and duct tape and sealed it in a box. Tomorrow morning I'm going to send it to the man in California that bought it off me.
I might cry a little bit. Bikes are so hard to let go of.
OK, it is old but I only just got around to reading it. The Cluetrain Manifesto says so many things that are just so right on. Take some time out of your day and read it.
L. Ron Hubbard - couch - Funnyuns.
Bea Arthur - violence - dinosaurs.
Free Winona t-shirts. Because Mandela is already out.
Cool pictures of industrial design by Atari.
Buy me this. No, seriously, I want it. Stop laughing!
Just as an aside, someone found this site by typing "i'm 15 years old, female, here are some pictures of pretty me " into Google. It made me really sad. And quite angry.
012302 - The Charlatans (UK) were awesome last night. Bit of an eclectic crowd but I had a great time anyway. Thank you Charlatans.
Today's links:
So cool I nearly wet my pants. It might be dead already because I posted it to Metafilter... Here's what it does though.
Very odd.
I need one of these!
More fresh, kitteny goodness.
Amusing proof that we all have bad days.
I'll just hold it until we land next time.
Why I hate people that drive SUVs.
012202 - Stunningly nice day out today in Chicago. If you're unemployed (like what I am...) and live here I would highly recommend going out for a walk/jog/bike ride/whatever. If you're stuck in an office and live here... well... I'm sorry.
Only two links today but they are of such high quality that it shouldn't bother anyone. Plus, you're supposed to be outside.
Today's links:
Random. Cute. Kitten generator.
Grand Theft Auto, Carmageddon, Twisted Metal - redux!
012102 - Just links today.
Today's links:
One man's descent into madness chronicled on eBay.
Tron 2.0 teaser.
Australia kills dogs that are giant and hell-bent on murder.
S. Korea kills dogs that are yummy.
Lord of the Rings abridged. Again.
This is me. By GW Bush.
What is either a joke or the most tactless and vile banner ever!
Air bag for motorcyclists.
011902 - What do I do when I'm bored? Enhance my website of course... I added an archive to the webcam and made a couple of new icons for that bit over there to the left. They're so cute.
Today's links:
So much more fun than you'd think! Here's some I made.
Sweet little first person shooter, written in Java. Think Wolfenstein.
A taste of what's to come only in funny comic form.
Surname distribution in the US through the years.
Like vodka, only lamer.
011802 - A Buddhist walks in to a pizza place and says, "Make me one with everything."
Today's links:
Look out! Here comes the future.
Not sure if this is funny or sad.
Woman gets her own back on Jehovah's Witness. Funny stuff.
Whale skeleton for sale.
The proper way to hate your job.
Diary of Aragorn. Only funny if you've seen Lord of the Rings.
CNN hires MTV's Serena Altschul. This has to mean something bad.
011702 - Some things to look forward to if you live in Chicago:
0122 - The Charlatans (UK)/Starsailor - The Vic - 7:30
0129 - Stereophonic/JJ72 - Metro - 7:00
0202 - Moldy Peaches - Empty Bottle
Today's links:
Dog in a coat.
Old people suddenly realize they're old!
It is almost worth going through the whole gallery. Some are funny.
011602 - I'm thrilled to the point of almost being giggly about the new season of MTV's The Real World being set in Chicago. It gives me a chance to explore the city without having to leave the warm coziness of my apartment. Thank you MTV.
If it pisses it down with rain, what does it do for snow? Fluff it down? Today it is fluffing it down.
This didn't stop me from riding my bike (rolling on 20's...) to the pool and back today. I'm kind of an idiot.
What I think about when I'm swimming: "...39...39...39...39...39...39...39...40...40...40...40..."
Today's links:
This Summer I will start a kickball league. Let me know if you're interested.
Man goes from dot-com CEO to counter staff at McDonald's. On purpose.
Ha ha ha.
011502 - A couple of days ago I was coming back from the pet store (as I do sometimes) and I saw a Fed Ex guy standing outside the security door of our apartment. He was doing something with the door and when I got a little closer I realized he was trying to jimmy the lock with a credit card. He didn't notice me until I was pretty much right next to him, he looked quite startled and a bit embarrassed. "Is that for Marc Needham?" "Yeah, uhh, here you go..." and then he jogged back to his truck. "I don't need to sign anything?" I called after him.
I can't decide if it was an example of guerilla customer service and therefore a good thing or if he was just saving his ass a trip back tomorrow and therefore a bad thing...
Today's links:
My pal Dan has put out an EP. It is awesome and it is now available online. Go buy it.
Robots... they're worse than telemarketers...
Poor Britney. People just don't understand how deep she is.
This is what I want done with my ashes when I die.
011302 - So, after about seven or eight years of not remembering any dreams at all; all of a sudden, I'm remembering them all. This is pretty cool for the most part but last night I had a really nasty nightmare. I was being strapped into an electric chair and a female prison guard was preparing me for execution. I was crying quietly and there was this mix of pity and sadness in her eyes. It was one of the most horrifying things I've ever experienced.
Today's links:
Some funny pictures.
Moderately amusing comic.
| Marc Needham Super Haircut Vote Battle! | |
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| "Haircut: Yes!" won, 15 votes to 14. However, IP addresses suggested that some people voted multiple times. I hate cheaters and decided I'm not ready to lose the shag yet so decided not to get the drastic cut I had planned. Screw all y'all this ain't a democracy. | |
Today's links:
Concentrate on the image for 40 seconds or so. Great and spooky!
This has to be the best execution of the best practical joke EVER!
Neat little VBS script that allows you to use Word spell checker in IE.
Dr. Dogmeat and some thoughts.
011002 - Today found me getting my hair cut and my throat feeling a little better. Maybe my hair was too shaggy and that's what was making my throat hurt?
Today's links:
Self Confidence
An abridged version of Lord of the Rings which is only really funny if you've seen the movie.
Great MP3! Public Enemy Vs. Dexy's Midnight Runners.
Opt out of ads. Not sure if it works but it has to be worth a try.
010902 - Today I:
· Still didn't feel well.
· Updated my music section.
· Went and bought some cat food. (I think I might be developing agoraphobia...)
· Had several conversations via email and IM with several friends about several inane and puerile topics.
· Waited for the UPS guy to bring me some pants. He never came.
· Applied for some jobs.
· Surfed the web too much.
· Cleaned the cat litter, took the garbage out, and played a good two hours of fetch with Marmite.
· Revelled in the realization that Marmite is the naughtiest cat I've ever met.
· Didn't go swimming.
· Didn't go for a bike ride.
I am leading a sad, empty life that can only improve once I start feeling better.
Today's links:
Be sure to click the "more" links and check the rest of the paper out after reading the classifieds. So funny.
Whimsyland's Crabb Jumpers.
"The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people."
Money does buy happiness. Go figure.
This is how I'd like my kids to learn about important issues like drug abuse, parental alcohol abuse, and gangs.
Kind of a dumb game but you get to be a bear and punch Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sarah Michelle Gellar so it can't be all bad.
010802 - Today I don't feel well. All fever-floaty and soreness. I may never swim again.
Today's links:
Sad lion story.
More cool animated gifs from the source of yesterday's.
That's all I've got, sorry.
010702 - OK, I was going to go swimming today but got tied up buying fancy paper to print resumes on.
I did ride my bike to the paper shop though, that has to count for something, right? Swimming tomorrow.
Today's links:
"Mommy, can I be a hooker when I grow up?"
Best. Animated fighting gif. Ever.
I quit smoking four months ago, if I still smoked though this is where I'd go to buy donuts.
Something about feral children. A topic close to my heart as I was raised by a small group of talking cats.
An unpleasant article about pets (unwittingly) eating other pets.
A great feature that reminded me that I've driven across this continent five times (for various reasons).
Here's a picture of my friend Jeremy hanging out with Ron Jeremy in Seattle.
010402 - I'm a bit angry today because I found out I was wrong about the pool being closed this whole time. They ended up just being closed for a couple of days instead of the three weeks that the note on the door said. I could have been swimming this whole time; instead I've been sitting around eating chocolate and surfing the web. Great.
Here's a picture of my new bike with sexy, new yellow tires on it, 20's no less...
Today's links:
How to diaper a monkey.
Photographs of silly English people reacting to a van backfiring. Good stuff.
An amusing take on the 'page cannot be displayed' page.
What to do if you are sick of spam. (And let's be honest here, who isn't sick of spam?)
010302 - Here's a picture of my new bike. Pretty sexy, no?
Today's links:
Angry note sadly left in error.
Geek Hierarchy.
Tetsuya Nagato and his monkey in 32 locations.
Models are smart.
010202 - I bought a new bike today, a Trek 1500. It is sweet as fuck.
As a sad side-effect I'm selling my BMX, now's your chance to own something that's been between my legs.
Today's links:
Semi-new Harper's Index. Funny and scary at the same time.
Irony so thick that it hurts.
Saw Lord of the Rings last night, stunningly cool movie. Apparently mistakes were made though...
010102 - When I was a kid I always figured I'd be dead before the Millennium, the fact that I've made it this far just boggles my mind.
I can say with a very straight face that I am happy 2001 is over. 2001 was a year where my best friend died, an earthquake shook my confidence in solid ground, I got laid off from a job I loved, and I moved away from all of my friends and a city I loved. Add to that the World Trade Center attack which had me staring at the TV wearing nothing but my underpants and a horrified expression on my face, crying uncontrollably, and 2002 can only be better, right?
*touch wood*
Last night was fun, we went and got wasted at the Double Door. This morning (early afternoon) sees me refreshingly devoid of the usual trappings of a hard night's drinking. Yaay for grilled cheese sandwiches and lots of water when I got home last night!
Today's links:
Stupid.
Stupid.
Disturbing.
123001 - Back from England now, had a brilliant time, I'll put a bunch of pictures up later this week.
I can hardly believe that 2001 is almost over, the years just seem to be going faster and faster now. This year I've decided to adopt a corporate tagline as my New Year's resolution, here are some ideas I've got so far:
This year ___
- Make every day good to the last drop. (Maxwell House)
- Just Do It. (Nike)
- It's all about the beer. (Heineken)
- Do it in Huggies. (Huggies)
- Thank goodness for Kleenex. (Kleenex)
- 100% pure squeezed sunshine. (Tropicana)
- The length you go to for pleasure. (Benson & Hedges)
and most importantly...
- Happiness. (Kinder)
The Royal Tenenbaums is funny and nice to look at, go see it. I just added it to my top five favorite movies list.
Today's links:
Chicago narrowly beating NY as Murder City, USA. We're #1!!!
Absolutely fucking fantastic Japanese Flash ads for Panasonic. They make me wish I spoke Japanese so I knew what the hell was going on. They also make me wish I could get the damn song out of my head.
121701 - Forgot to mention it when I updated yesterday... we went party-hopping on Saturday night and Ellen from Road Rules 10 was at one of the parties. She spent the whole time we saw her looking very snotty and making out with two guys.
It is 6:00 in the AM, I'm so tired I feel sick. I'm off to the airport.
121601 - Here's my first snowboard design for the Monson Snowboard Design Contest. What do you think? Is it crap?
I'm going to England tomorrow morning so there won't be updates to this page again until the 27th of December. Unless I get bored or something really cool happens. Hope everyone has a splendid Christmas.
Today's links:
Think Flash can't be scary, demented, and driven by mental illness? The Woodcutter proves you wrong. Look around a bit.
Throw the ball. Then press 5.
Got an iBook2? Want to make a see-through case for it? Here's how.
Got a set of stairs? Want to learn how and why to throw yourself down them? Here's how (and why...)
Not to mention the fact that in 15 years you'll be sickeningly rich.
Korean Pizza Huts make a pizza with crab baked in to the crust.
Now you can make your own Enchiritos.
121401 - My auction was shut down by the man. Apparently I broke some rules of theirs or something. I think it's because I was getting more traffic than they wanted, around 13K people had visited before they killed it. Oh well.
Today's links:
Hilarious Christmas video.
Mark Brazill (the creator That 70's Show) is an complete headcase. I thought only movie industry people were this full of shit...
The new most unpleasant way to die!
Ummm, a story about a cat...
And, uhh... a song I used to like...
121301 - Watching a meme develop from the inside is kind of cool. A few of the bigger blogs picked up the auction that I launched yesterday. Look at the hit counter at the bottom of it now. Sweet.
Today's links:
JDreamer is almost enough to convert me to Christianity, but not quite. Check out their awesome anime Jesus boxcutters!
I had a couple of people ask me what a "blog" is today.
STILL haven't bought me my Xmas present yet? Get me this!
Sad article about Seattle being smashed in the face by this recession. Poor Seattle.
Click launch now to see some great color-changing porn art.
Not particularly impressive but kind of creepy dancing baby face.
Where P. Diddy picked up his massive amounts of "street cred". Ha ha ha.
121201 - I'm really, really bored!
Today's links:
Vulgar but highly entertaining game.
Doubletree picked the wrong nerds to mess with!
Looking to buy me a last minute Christmas present? No, didn't think so...
Looking to buy a term paper online?
New issue of Tiger Magazine is out and pretty.
121101 - When I got to the pool today there was a polite note telling me that the pool would be closed for two to three weeks. Two to three weeks! What am I supposed to do for two to three weeks? The next closest pool is miles away.
Of course, I'll be in England for two weeks of that but what am I going to do for the rest of this week?
Do I whine too much?
Today's links:
Apparently I was bored today.
Google's Usenet archives are live now. Great to see yesterday's news from the perspective of the geeks.
This movie looks like it should be good.
Silly Canadians.
121001 - OK, this article gave me the willies a little bit. I have used Builder.com a lot in the past and the fact that they're changing focus has to mean something, right? Just to make sure my options are kept open I've rejiggered my resume to appeal to non-technical people too. Yeah, I'm a dork, and...
I mean, I'm not saying I want to leave web development, I love it here, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm so confused!!!
Today's links:
Best Bea Arthur doll ever!
Comic gems from McSweeney's.
Apparently some people in NY don't like Britney.
Don't date his daughter.
Don't interview with Microsoft.
120701 - I walk almost two miles back from the pool every day and keep expecting to see people I know. I don't think that is too unreasonable, I went to U of I, I lived in the suburbs for two years, I seem to remember having friends. What happened to them all?
Today's links:
Best game ever. Period.
Strange.
120601 - If a cat ever decided it wanted to kill you while you were sleeping you'd be fucked. Think about that.
I'm the loser in .com loser.
Today's links:
Why wasn't I blessed with a fat trust fund, movie star friends, and the god-given ability to knock back gobs and gobs of coke and champagne?
Dogs. They're just so rude.
"No, not a turtle. A vampire."
Desperation is both cute and funny.
Pixely delicious.
CEO's guide to terrorist attack.
Thank you.
Rice rocket toilet.
Something fun and interesting to do next time you're drunk.
120501 - Today it was warm, the sun shone brightly, and I swam a mile. Granted that's not that far but I'm proud of myself just the same.
Today's links:
Funny fake diary entry about the first day of Segway ownership.
Looking for a domain name but think all the good ones are taken? Think again!
Are you a twat? Do you have too much money? Here's something you'll want then.
This funny article pretty much sums up how I feel about adults that bought into the Harry Potter thing.
Great little game.
A tear (of gratitude) welled up in my eye when I saw myself (TiggleTaggleTiger) listed as part of the MeFi Mob (in the left sidebar, a bit further down, no, a bit futher, there you go...) on this site.
120401 - Almost swam a mile today.
Today's links:
Think of what you could get done if you could stay up for four days without getting tired!
I'm a hacker. Apparently.
Great article about the crappiest place in America.
Subtle. You might have to watch it more than once.
120301 - While I was in Peoria a friend and I hit a bingo hall. It was unbelievably entertaining, if a little surreal. We then decided that the key to having a good time is to mix things up occasionally and that it would be a good idea to go shooting when we got back to Chicago.
Well, I just got off the phone with a local range and was kindly informed that - thanks to the fucking terrorists - they not only don't lend guns out anymore but now you need all kinds of gun-related credentials to play with firearms. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no gun person, I think they're evil things and society would be far better off without them but I'm still a guy at heart and as such enjoy shooting shit.
Today's links:
Video evidence that robots aren't even close to replacing cats yet.
This guy should go buy a lottery ticket right now.
Saddening and a little disturbing - for fashion!
I was hoping mine would turn out to be Hagar the Horrible but I guess that one's taken.
This girl is cool as all get out. This is why she's dressed like that.
113001 - Crazy people are great. The world would be a lot less interesting without the guy in the park singing opera to the birds or the strange man that smells like pee and screams passages from the bible at the sky.
Today's links:
Art? Or just high quality entertainment for the whole family? (Mouseover their heads, the faster the better...)
Does it hurt getting your head cut off?
One idiot kills another. Simple. Funny?
Some people pay extra for things like this...
I smashed mine open when I was a kid. Made a mess, got in trouble.
This is pretty funny. To me.
OK, I missed the boat on this one but it is still good.
112901 - Went swimming again today. Did more laps than yesterday and felt even better afterwards. Swimming is great.
Today's links:
Something to read if you are in a band or have friends in a band.
Those are some very, very wired babies.
Cook County (where I now live) is syphil-errific!
Wait... is that Britney's ass?
The ultimate Xmas gift for the germophobe on your list.
112801 - Finally went swimming at that pool today. It was great. Had nearly the whole pool to myself and I swam until my arms felt like jelly.
On the way home I picked up some champagne because I'm in a good mood.
This is what it looks like outside my window right now.
Today's links:
Just funny.
As many web culture references as could possibly fit.
Unbelievably nasty. But funny all the same.
Shocker.
Ha ha ha.
112601 - I'm back from Peoria now. It is like my life took a week off, quite nice.
Today's links:
Like Buffy? Like swearing? Buffy swearing.
Like psycho kittens? Like the game Snake? Like seizure inducing flashing and techno music? Psycho Techno Hypno Kitten Snake.
Holiday shopping has begun.
I don't want to say it serves them right but... It serves them right.
111901 - I was laying in bed last night, unable to sleep, and I think I came a little closer to understanding the nature of the universe.
It has always bothered me that the universe can't have a beginning (space, not time...) or an end, something I've always had a hard time grasping. Anyway, last night I finally 'got' the whole concept of a void, the idea of null space was something I hadn't delved very deeply into before. Anway, if space is null then there doesn't need to be a beginning or an end. Outside of physical matter contained in the universe there is no existence.
Cowboy Bebop's final episode is next weekend. If you haven't been watching it up to this point, you've been missing out. The 26 episode run starts again the week after that, late night, Sundays, Cartoon Network.
A while ago I tried to institute the use of the phrase, "Baby Bear's porridge" meaning something that is just right. It was to be used as an exclamation but I guess it never really caught on.
No links today or for the rest of this week as I am going down to Peoria (IL) to spend the week with Keri's family.
111701 - Having something of a rough day today. I woke up this morning, remembered something important and then promptly forgot it again. I have spent most of the day agonizing over what it might have been. It feels like it was probably quite important.
Missed the Superchunk show last night (much to my dismay) but found a new favorite bar, Danny's over in Bucktown. It is sweet as fuck.
Looking forward to the Leonid meteor shower tonight!
Today's links:
I'm left-handed but I'm not a transsexual.
Great cat distractions. Even Frank liked them and he generally doesn't like anything.
No point. No point at all...
111601 - I got my hair cut today. It feels a lot shorter, which makes sense because I guess it is.
Today's links:
Shred this page. If you keep refreshing eventually you get some pretty cool looking shit.
These are pretty funny. Variations on fairy tales.
Seems like this would be cool. I'm working on an unstable machine right now though and am afraid to install non-standard stuff.
Best music and concept ever for a video game.
A yuppie toy that even I want!
One of the saddest things I've ever read. And they say animals don't feel...
111401 - I was reading my book (The Elephant Vanishes, Murakami) and the main character in one of the stories (it is a short story collection...) is talking about going for a swim. I am so impressionable, so easily led, so open to suggestion that I showered, did a half hour of research to find the closest pool to me then walked a mile and a bit to go look at it.
I didn't actually go swimming but now I know where it is next time I feel like going.
Today's links:
This is rife in downtown Chicago and really pisses me off.
Crap Flash. An oldie but a goodie.
Parallels between us and them.
Apparently middle-aged bankers and lawyers don't like inciting fear. Maybe they should leave the leather chaps at home then?
All below from Mister Pants:
Sacri-licious.
Wig suit. I want one.
Your message carved in cheese.
111301 - I think it might be too cold outside to ride my bike today. I'm not sure though as I haven't left the apartment yet.
True story:
When I was four my parents took me to the South of France for a holiday. We were out on the beach one day when I saw a group of kids around my age playing by the water; I wandered over, by myself, to make some new friends. When I got closer I realized they were speaking a different language, on reflection probably French. This didn't stop me from wanting to make friends, I started chasing one of the smaller kids because he ran away when I tried to talk to him. I guess I was kind of big for my age. Some of the older kids must have thought my chasing was an act of aggression; they tackled me, pinned my arm behind my back and one of them ran off to get a parent.
I started crying. I didn't understand why they were being mean to me. I managed to squirm loose and ran back to my parents, tears streaming down my face.
I guess that's why I don't like French people. Ha ha ha.
Today's links:
Michael Jackson through the years.
While the cat's away the mice will play. When the cat is driven out by the Northern Alliance the mice will shave off their beards and watch TV. - NYT link.
Scottish dog barks, courts offer to kill it.
I like the Pope, the Pope does coke. - Disclaimer - If the current Pope actually did cocaine it wouldn't make me like him any more or less.
Someone else does this whole diary thing better than I do.
Lots of trouble over on Mefi. (I'm TiggleTaggleTiger)
111201 - I wish I had a job so I could afford to buy a DVR. And Christmas presents.
Today's links:
Won't stop me from flying. I'm going back to GB to see the fam for a few weeks this Xmas. I am a bit more nervous about the flight but not overly stressed. Of course, now I've said that my plane will probably crash. Shit.
The longest tongue in the world belongs to a 12-year-old German girl.
This is why I'm being cremated.
111101 - In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields
*Marc pauses for moment of silence*
Today's links:
Best cat remembering game ever!
Idiots still breeding despite my recommendations.
More extremely silly Flash.
111001 - Today is a nothing day. Not a whole lot going on. Which shouldn't strike anyone as unusual as I'm broke and jobless.
Today's links:
Take two marginally funny web fads and combine them. Result.
Not that I need them or anything but these seem like a good idea.
110901 - It has dawned on me that I'm probably not going to get a job before January. If you know of anyone that needs any web design work done; I know of a guy that is OK at it and needs to pay rent...
Today's links:
Michael Jackson is a mentally ill twat.
Awful and brilliant at the same time. Or just awful.
OK, that last one was silly but this one is really cool.
Maybe I should do something useful with my time off. Like this!
Southerners... and they wonder why people make fun of them.
110801 - The cats have got a new trick for getting us out of bed. They have figured out that knocking the (non-cordless) phone out of its cradle makes it beep loud. It beats what Frank used to do; hopping up onto the dresser and knocking items off one by one, pausing between each thing and looking at us like, "are you going to get up now or do I have to knock this down too?"
Today's links:
Some curmudgeon gloating over my predicament. Bastard.
German tigers getting their hump on.
Validation for my lifestyle.
Prince Charles gets the slapping he so rightly deserves. - Picture
110601 - I was racing down the lakeshore on my bike this afternoon and I saw someone coming the opposite direction; also on a bike. As they got closer I noticed that they were grinning like a maniac. I paused for a moment and realized I was too.
Cycling is great.
A bit later on as I was fighting the wind I paused and noticed that I was growling.
Today's links:
War trading cards - one of the saddest things I've seen in a long time.
How skinny is too skinny?
This story cuts a bit close to the bone right now. (NYTimes link)
110301 - 2:00AM, just got back from a show, The Standard, The Shins, and Preston School of Industry. The Shins and The Standard absolutely kicked ass but PSOI were a bit lame. I've got a new favorite venue too, the Double Door. If the bookers there were half as good as the folks at the hot, sweaty Metro, I'd never, ever go back to Metro.
I'm drunk. Did any of that make sense?
110201 - I guess I'm more fucked than I thought I was.
I hear Starbuck's is an OK place to work...
110101 - White Rabbit, White Rabbit, White Rabbit.
103101 - Halloween goodies from Modern Humorist.
103001 - I've just had a day from hell. Dropped my ficus tree down the stairs trying to get it here from Keri's twin Sister's place, breaking the pot and almost killing Keri in the process. Had a nasty, female, German cop call me an asshole for parking a Uhaul in the middle of the street, and just basically spent most of the day on the verge of tears. Frustration; it's a bitch. I needed something to cheer me up, these links did so admirably. Them and the beer...
A cat explaining why Judo is better than Karate: Karate being more kicks and punches, Judo being more throws and grapples...
100 things to consider if you ever become an Evil Overlord.
I might add that although I still don't have a job, I am smiling right now. Thank you booze. Thank you Internet.
102901 - Cowboy Bebop is the best show on television. Cartoon Network, late Sundays; not for much longer though.
102701 - OK, it is 2:00AM and I just got back from a show. I don't want to say "most amazing show ever" but it was really, really good. We went to see Explosions in the Sky and And You Will Know Us From the Trail of Dead at the Abbey. First show in a long time where I've been able to sit down, first show in a long time where I haven't been uncomfortably hot (thanks Metro...), first show in a long time where I've really had a good time listening to the music and watching the crowd. If they come to your town, go see them.
102501 - Shit, so much has happened since last I wrote... Where to start? Well, I mentioned another round of layoffs at Disney last I wrote; those spread further and ended up taking me and most of my division with it. So, now I'm unemployed again. In Chicago.
Yes, you heard me right, I left Seattle. I know, I know, I loved Seattle but I guess it was time to go. Keri was sad there because she missed her family, I was sad there because I kept getting laid off. I had originally thought there would be a better tech job market in Chicago. How wrong was I? I've been here almost two months now and there doesn't seem to be that much out there. Keri has been here three months and hasn't found anything either. Thankfully Disney was very kind to me when I left (three months severance...) and I get decent government cheese. I'll be alright for a while.
In the meantime I'm writing some short stories. I was going to write a novel but that was way too daunting a task. I was riding my bike a fair bit too but it is getting cold now. Not looking forward to the Winter here, maybe I'll jet off somewhere tropical. Ha ha ha. We got a new cat, his name is Marmite, he's black, he's a spaz, he's a year old. I'll get pictures of him up soon. I still think about Kaia all the time and it still hurts a lot.
I exposed myself to the Real World cameras one night a few weeks ago, wait for that one on an uncensored highlights tape.
030701 - Well, it has been an eventful few weeks. Not in a good way though. I guess the most significant thing that has happened has been the death of Kaia. She was jumping down off a bookcase and landed wrong. I think she broke her neck or her back. I heard her land and yelp and I ran in to see what was wrong. She was on her side, on the floor, not moving. Her eyes were open and she was breathing/growling/purring. I lost it. I didn't know what to do so I stroked her and cried and told her it was going to be OK while Keri called the emergency vet, trying to keep herself together. Kaia stopped breathing before Keri was even off the phone with the vet but we took her anyway. They told us what we already knew.
It hurt so much.
I have never had anything or anyone really close to me die before and I had no idea how much it hurts. It is almost four days later and the physical and emotional pain caused by Kaia not being with me anymore are still almost crippling.
Accidents aren't supposed to end like that. You have an accident, you get up and shake it off. You don't die.
Cats aren't supposed to be clumsy. Cats are supposed to land on their feet.
I took Monday off and wept all day. I'm back at work now but I still have to go the bathroom a couple of times a day to let it out.
I feel like I have no right to be sad. I don't want to tell anyone about it because I'm scared that they won't understand. Kaia has been with me for just over four years now and helped me through some of the hardest times of my life, been the one stable, happy thing in my life through that period. She was an incredibly sweet cat, a provider of unconditional love, a private confessional booth, a friend, somebody warm to curl up next to on nights I thought I would be alone, a constant source of entertainment... I can't imagine how my life will ever be the same without her. I know it will though. Every day it gets a little bit easier.
In other news, there were a bunch of Mardi Gras riots, a huge (incredibly cool) earthquake, another round of layoffs at my company, and Keri's birthday (24).
I'm getting another tattoo next week.
01242001 - Fuck me! It is 2001! Who would have thought I would have lasted this long? Not me, that's for sure. I work for Disney now, after suffering an utterly humiliating, soul-destroying, stock-option-making-worthlessizing stint at InfoMedX. InfoMedX is no longer a company and the stock options that were going to buy me my island are now good for nothing other than wiping my ass with. I had them print the options on soft paper so I can do just that. Disney is cool though. Still programming... Working with cool people in a cool building in a cool part of town. Very few complaints right now.
Except I don't get enough sleep.
I never get enough sleep...
Anyway, learning lots of cool new stuff so when I get a spare minute (read: never) I will update this site a bit and impress you all.
06292000 - OK, I decided to get rid of the side-scrolling deal, it was a pain in the ass. I like this new format much better. I need to update this section more often. too many other things I need to do though... Feedback form is broken again, something about me and forms, they just don't like me.
05232000 - I finally got the contact form working properly, in the end I had to use a Perl script that is hosted off-site because the CGI-BIN settings of my host are all wonky. So, you can send me rude e-mails pretty much anonymously from the site now:) I also managed to get my webcam up and running for a good four hours yesterday, then it went down again, turns out the problem wasn't with me at all, it is with my host - again... Nothing much is new and exciting in my life right now, hot a bit of a slump, haven't been running in five days now and the weather has been great, go fig. Going to England for a week beginning of June, then when I get back me and a friend are going to go paragliding. Damn straight I will have pictures of that up... Hmmm, the site is slowly but surely coming together now. I am pleased.
05022000 - Nothing ever dies until it is forgotten - don't know who said that but it is true in a way. I forgot to mention that I went whitewater rafting this weekend. It was sweet, if a little chilly towards the end.
05012000 - "As soon as you're born you start dying... so you might as well have a good time..." Today is May Day, I didn't celebrate it because I don't think much happens here. When I used to live in England it was great. On May 1 the pubs open at 4:00AM in Oxford and everyone either stays up all night or gets up really early to get drunk, events come to a head between 6:00AM and 8:00AM when the choristers (sp?) sing on top of Christchurch tower to the throngs of people below on Magdalen bridge. It is great. If you ever happen to be in GB on May 1, go check it out.
04272000 - Go back to the home page and click and drag the 'M' with horns... Well, the weather *has* been really nice but today it is crappy which means I am putting off going for my jog hoping for a sun break at some point. Wishful thinking at its finest. I am going to use the same technology that I used for the front page to make a dress-up Marc doll. should be lots of fun, should be up sometime next week. I haven't been very philosophical of late because I have been busy with work. I'll come back when I feel like bitching about something.
04202000 - It is a blindingly gorgeous day here in the Puget Sound area. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the air is thick with the scent of a million blossoms. The cats are sitting in the window looking forlorn which makes me wonder a little. Do you think cats dream; not dream while they are asleep, that is pretty much a given, I mean hopes and dreams, little kitty aspirations. I can imagine Frankie (orange) plotting the demise of his sadistic human captors (me and Keri) and escaping to run wild with his brethren, to kill his own food and frolic in an ecstasy of pure bliss under the warm Springtime sun. Of course if he ever did get out he would last maybe five minutes. Too many cars around here. I go jogging a lot and almost get killed every day. Seattle people are really nice but they can't drive for shit. That's why I don't own a car, well, that and I had to sell it to pay first month's rent on this place, and I work at home so I don't really need it... Weather like this reminds me of Florida. Or maybe it is the time of the year, normally I would have taken the annual trip down for Spring Break by now but not this year, I'm a grown up now... Which also explains why I'm not celebrating today (4/20) as I do most years. Being a grown up sucks.
04192000 - Well, here I go again. This page is going to be a lot like Remote Controlled Marc was (god rest its sweet departed soul) only without you, the general public, telling me what to do. It will just be a collection of random thoughts and observations, like any one of the millions and millions of weblogs and diaries out there already, only mine will be better because sometimes I can be kind of funny. I said sometimes. I thought it would be interesting to experiment with a side-scrolling dealy, if it proves to be too hard to read then I will change it to a more conventional format. This won't be a daily thing, I will be writing when I feel like it.
